Why subscribe?

Why indeed? I’m just writing the subtext to the default headings Substack provided. Apparently it will make me feel loved, thereby encouraging me (and you!) to spend more time on their website.

I honestly can’t guarantee that I’ll post material you find interesting or enraging, but who knows? Maybe something I say here will trigger a deep genetically-encoded cascade in your neural array, unlocking new mental (and, who knows, maybe physical) buffs. Chances are slim, but maybe not zero.

Stay up-to-date

That’s what Substack wants you to do. So you should do it. In fact, you must. The record of your online engagements is permanent, and will be judged by our robot overlords at some point. So get cracking.

Join the crew

Because joining things is fun! All the humans are doing it. Of course, doing it here has all the honest human warmth of an ATM transaction. But you like ATM transactions, right? Press the buttons and make a withdrawal from the dopamine bank.

Caveat emptor: Friends(TM) are not, like, actual friends.